Sunday, January 22, 2023

Stories of Compassion, Stories of Responsibility, and Where They Converge

 There are many ways of narrating the same events. 

 

No story will be simply and completely true. 


Every story will reveal some aspect. 


Thus telling many different stories about the same situation will give us many angles on the ultimately unspeakable whole of a situation.


Stories of compassion tend to minimize questions of individual responsibility. We zoom out and say "Of course it had to happen that way... Of course it wasn't the right moment for you to really confront that addiction... Of course they didn't mean to hurt you..."


R.G. Collingwood calls this "Absolute Ethics," in which everything is intelligible and understandable and therefore nothing can be entirely wrong or evil.


Stories of responsibility emphasize individual choice and freedom rather than the compulsion of circumstances. We hone in and say "Of course you were struggling with your own abuse, but I don't care, you can't treat me that way.... I don't care how hard your  day was, you need to remember to lock the door..."


The tension of compassion and responsibility is the tension between necessity and freedom, circumstance and agency.


There are forms of action in which these things converge, in which what we freely choose to do is also what we feel to be necessary.


This is a form of freedom that arises from self-compassion. "Given all that I understand about myself and my situation I see no other alternative. It is not a perfect alternative, but it is the best alternative I am aware of."


Collingwood called this form of action "Duty" (in a specifically non-legal, non-regularian sense, i.e. not duty as following the law, but duty as acting out of perceived necessity that follows from deep intimacy with the situation).


I was exposed to COVID on 12/25 and became symptomatic on 12/28. I recovered and tested negative on 1/7. I became feverish on 1/9 with what I later learned was pneumonia. I have been horrifically ill, more ill than I've ever been in my adult life. 

 

I am often critical of the "biomedical" orientations of my professional field. But I thank god for antibiotics because I probably would have died without them.


As I've recovered I have grappled with how to tell the story of my exposure. I, on the one hand, of course have compassion for the people I was around. And I find that the more I recover, the angrier I feel, and the more I am telling a story of responsibility in which people let me down.


There is truth to both of these stories.


Above all I am grappling with the vulnerability I feel in having been so violently ill, alone in my apartment, doing my best to take care of myself.


I am grateful for the many people that showed up for me.


I hope to not be this sick again for a very long time.

Saturday, December 31, 2022

A Note on Three Forgettings and the Task of Modernity, Or, Why Arendt is Right about Heidegger, Strauss, and Gendlin

Heidegger, Strauss, and Gendlin all claim that modernity involves some sort of forgetting.


Each of them use this claim about a forgetting to pose a task.


We have forgotten X, therefore we must learn/recover/think/understand Y. 


This therefore is very peculiar.


Heidegger says we have forgotten Being.


Strauss says we have forgotten the tradition of Esotericism.


Gendlin says we have forgotten the reality of implicit intricacy (or never known it).


For Heidegger this means we must recover a genuine understanding of  Being (as opposed to the beings, which are so well categorized and manipulated by modern science). When we recover Being we will recover authenticity and the experience of Being-in-the-world.


For Strauss this means we must recover the conflict between philosophy and politics, go back before Enlightenment harmonism and remember the real nature of philosophy as an expression of the ambivalence of human nature. This, too, seems to come along with its own form of authenticity.


For Gendlin this means recovering a sense of the more than formal nature of thinking: we must learn to "think beyond patterns," as one of his short books puts it. For Gendlin, too, this means rediscovering authenticity: we will recognize that being authentic or real never means being formal, but always means placing form in service of intricacy.


Arendt is right that all philosophies of history are an attempt to restore human contact with the world. We feel disconnected, estranged, disenchanted, alienated. She is right about all of them in this regard.


All these people posited a forgetting and the need for a recovery.


I am persuaded of some version of this project. I currently favor some synthesis of Strauss and Gendlin, but of course I think this would be a return to Being, as well.


I suppose I want to claim that approaching Being means approaching our particular way of being. 


Approaching our particular way of being means approaching the intertwining of our political-role identities and our deeper-intricate selves. Being is the being of both the esoteric-exoteric divide and the intricate-formal divide.


Eso-exo and intricate-formal are the same problem.


Both are the problem of this being that finds itself strangely open to Being.

Friday, December 9, 2022

The Unsaid and The Body - In Praise of Tomberlin

 Sarah Beth Tomberlin—who records songs simply as Tomberlin—is one of the most profound singer songwriters I have encountered in recent memory. Her debut album "At Weddings" is astonishing. The opening track "Any Other Way" has brought me to tears on more than one occasion. "I didn't know any other way..." she repeats over and over as the song closes. "You Are Here" and "Seventeen" are two other standout tracks on the standout album.


Her 2020 EP "Projections" filled out  her sound a bit more, moving beyond the spare guitars of her debut. Her most recent release, 2022's "I don't know who needs to hear this [idkwntht]" is fuller still with electric guitars, drums, and supporting musicians. My favorite song is "born again runner."


I have recently come to appreciate the depth of her song "unsaid." I reproduce the lyrics here in full:


"[Verse 1]
Left my home and a best friend
The places I could hide
For a city of six-lane highways
And lots of traffic lights
But I'm trying to grow roots here
Keep my feet on the ground
But sirens swim and circle
The shore that I have found


[Verse 2]
Well, it's only been a few months
And I can't tell the difference
Was I happy in the quiet?
All the open-handed distance
From the people and their parties
Where no one really talks
Distracting from the thought of you
And all those late night walks

[Chorus]
'Cause if I don't call you up
Thеn I don't have to feel down
And if I don't say I miss you
Then you nevеr have to be around
If I don't say I love you
Then you don't have to love me
See how simple
The unsaid keeps things?

[Verse 3]
And Lucy gave me a reading
King of Cups and Queen of Wands
And in the middle, a perfect picture
Of everything I want

And I laugh 'cause it makes sense
But something leaves me feeling wrong
I know you're not a perfect picture
But my heart, it won't shut up



[Chorus]
'Cause if I don't call you up
Then I don't have to feel down
And if I don't say I miss you
Then you never have to be around
If I don't say I love you
Then you don't have to love me
See how simple
The unsaid
(Ooh)"

 

I often say to myself, friends, or clients that the unsaid doesn't go away.

 

The unsaid goes into the body.

 

Tomberlin knows something like this, it seems. The song playfully invokes a problem that I and most people are familiar with: "If I don't say anything about it then what is the problem? The talking about it makes the problem, right? I don't want to make any trouble... I just won't say anything..."

 

"See how simple the unsaid keeps things?"


Life is complex prior to our speaking of it. Problems exist priour to our speaking of them.

 

Speaking of them, no doubt, clarifies them, raises them to a level of clarity, explicates them

 

But the problems are not linguistic inventions, and refusing to speak of them will not solve them. 


The many beings seem to have many problems without any words at all. 


Tomberlin knows that the unsaid doesn't solve anything. 


But it can keep things appearing simple...


It isn't until I came to write this essay that I realized she leaves the last line of the song... unsaid...


I'm listening to it now. 


"See how simple the unsaiiiiiidddddoooooohhhhhhh...."


She leaves the last line implied... Or the not finishing of the line implies.... something.....


Tomberlin leaves unsaid what I think is the implied conclusion of the song: not speaking of something does not make it go away.


I am working, slowly, on a paper I will present at a conference in the spring. It will be titled "Person, Body, Unconscious."


I will be working to redefine the unconscious in terms of incomplete body process.


The unconscious could be many things, but it is at least partly our lived awareness of the unsaid.


Our body implies symbols, instructs us in its hunger for the symbols that will develop and further our living in situtations.


Tomberlin understands much of this, it seems to me.

Thursday, December 1, 2022

A Note on What it Means to be 'Natural'

 I have been concertedly reflecting on the word nature in one way or another since 2015 or so. I read so much Collingwood, read so much about the distinction between nature and history (now nature and nurture for us), that the problem of nature should inevitably arise.


I was recently wasting time on the internet and came across this guy who calls himself a Tarzan Coach. We have been ignoring our animal side, he says. We should knuckle walk and climb trees, he claims.


I think this is not without value, but it seems misleading to me.


The other day I made this claim to a friend: "If we want to understand what it means to be natural, as a human being, then we need to rediscover the real power of speech."


This claim is predicated on the following presuppositions (in an unclear order):

1. The concept of nature can be applied to both living and non-living things


2. Naturalness with regards to living things is fundamentally about the capacities of a particular body. What is natural for a fish is not natural for a horse. 

 

3. All living bodies are chiefly defined by their ongoing processes. The caterpillar-becoming-butterfly must be understood as one process, despite the fact that it takes on radically different forms. The nature of that process, however, looks quite different: the caterpillar body has different natural capacities than the butterfly body. But this is, of course, also true of human bodies: the child body can do things that the mature body cannot, and same for the body of an elder (not an elderly person, but an elder, a wise older person, their body, too, is such that it is capable of things that the young body is not. Things, hopefully, like wisdom). 


4. All living bodies proceed via interaction with their environment. I am currently interacting with my chair by sitting on it, my keyboard by pushing buttons, and my tea by consuming it. 

 

5. For an animal to be natural is for it to find a way of interacting with its environment that further develops or carries forward its capacity. If you dropped an orangutan into the middle of the ocean, for example, it would certainly find ways to interact with that environment (probably mostly thrashing). But it would be absurd to say that the middle of the ocean is the proper way to carry forward or develop a body of that sort. 

 

6. The human body is like other animal bodies in that its naturalness is equivalent to its flourishing in interaction with an environment that is conducive with its development.

 

7. Living bodies range in their complexity so that being natural may look quite complex or quite simple. A protozoa or a plant doesn't have especially complicated potentialities. Therefore its naturalness is a simpler matter than ours.

 

8. Life proceeds via layering or pyramiding, so that what was needed at previous stages of bodily development is essentially still needed.

 

9. We are one of the most complexly layered creatures that we have observed, and our nature seems particularly difficult to understand. What is the right environment for the human being to interact with so that it will flourish? This is a deeply complicated question because we are the making animal who is capable of changing their environments more radically than the other animals (because the other animals of course build dams, nests, and all sorts of things). 

 

10. It is a mistake to identify naturalness with any component of a living process (such as neurology or physiology) or to claim that only the 'primitive' or early layers of development are natural. This is hard for us, our ability to modify the environment is so intense that we can posit ourselves as standing outside this order. But we do not need to claim that there is anything unnatural about culture, language, or symbols. Culture as a concept, of course, often stands in relation to the notion of nature, but this is a problem with our language, not reality.

 

11. The human capacity for speech, making, and political organization must be seen as just as natural as a fishes capacity for swimming or a gazelle's ability to leap. There is no need to deny naturalness to these capacities of our bodies.


So, then, I raise the question, why would I have to go back to 'monkey' in order to be natural? If naturalness is about an animal body actualizing its potentials in a conducive environment, then why would we think we need to actualize just those primitive layers we can share with others?


To make the point, would we say that a fish is less natural than the single celled organisms that it evolved out of? If a human being needs to 'return to monkey' to be natural, then why doesn't the monkey need to return to its evolutionary precursor?


The natural cannot be identified with the developmentally or temporally primitive


The human capacity for speech is in dire straits. We have been relegated to the lower layers of our nature by modern society: our nutritive/plant body, our behavioral body, and our symbolically augmented behavioral body. The deep, real capacity for speech, in which it changes things, moves situitions in real, concrete ways, this power has been hidden from us by the bureaucratic and industrial nature of modern society. Indeed, Hannah Arendt's The Human Condition recently made this painfully clear to me: Modern society is fundamentally behavioral, and we have lost the capacity for speech. (I recently wrote a blog post for my employer that covers this exact topic. My views, of course, are my own). 


To rediscover the naturalness of being human is to discover the power of speech. For only in the experience of speech, the deep and mysterious possibilities of speech, can we understand what it means to be fully human. In the power of speech we experience ourselves as both the animal with language and the political animal.

 

This does not mean I regard modernity or industrial society as natural or  good or okay. But it does mean that, somehow, this situation has been created by a body exercising its natural capacities in interaction with its environment. 

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

The End in the Beginning of A Process Model

A Process Model (APM) by Eugene Gendlin is a book I will be making sense of for a long time. It is, at this point, the most sophisticated and ambitious attempt I've seen to move past some of the most fundamental problems in both philosophy and psychology. In particular, it manages to explain or bypass many difficulties inherent in the analytic-continental divide (scientism and postmodernism), or their analogs within the world of psychology (behaviorism/cognitive psychology, as opposed to humanistic or existential psychology). The fundamental issue in all of these divisions is the relationship between experience and nature or reality. Analytic/scientistic/behavioral orientations are more willing to sacrifice the phenomenon (i.e. experience) in the name of a reductive or deterministic account of nature. The "scientific" (i.e. unitized/reductive) explanation is more important than the integrity of the experience. Pomo/existential orientations generally laud the irreducibility of experience and, in various ways, posit some sort of discontinuity between nature and human beings (i.e. history/culture as a screen or cage). As Gendlin observes, however, both agree that human experience cannot be both studied scientifically and retain its phenomenological integrity.


The core of APM is thus to develop an account of humans, language, culture, and science that is consistent with our experience of the world. We experience ourselves, for example, as choosing, deliberating, being active in the world. Gendlin pursues this account in a two-pronged fashion that could be discussed as content and form.


In terms of content, Gendlin's philosophy begins with the concepts of body and environment. The basic, irreducible existence and interaction of living bodies and their environments is his starting point. As he says in an essay on imagery, "Every living event is a body-environment unit." From this dyad he builds a series of interrelated concepts intended to describe and explain different kinds of living processes: from plant growth to living animals and finally to human language and culture. Thus in terms of the content Gendlin is telling an evolutionary or emergentist story in which plant life becomes animal life which becomes human life. 


The form of Gendlin's account, however, is what is more significant. Gendlin is no doubt offering a theory, but it is a different kind of theory, he claims. Most theories, he claims, try to break things down into units and then reconstruct reality from those units. Even theories that try to describe processes (like life), he claims, often fall back on unitizing things. In this way most 'logical' theories leave out significant aspects of reality (are Procrustean). His sort of theory, then, is one that exhibits process. The concepts change as the text develops (this happens in all good writing). I suppose Gendlin would claim his thing is different because it explicitly describes dialectic while also enabling dialectic. But I feel myself getting annoyed, sympathizing with Keir, over this neomania and how Gendlin buys into it.

 

He puts all this explicitly and briefly at the end of  an essay on the body:

"Elsewhere (A Process Model, available from The Focusing Institute) I have built a new theoretical model of the body, its vegetative life-process, behavior, and the role it plays in language and culture.

The model has dual powers: It has the power of logic, of precise interrelated concepts, but it also has a new power. The concepts are not only ordinary logical ones. They are also a new kind. They are concepts that bring the experience I have been describing along with them. The concepts stem from and retain in them that kind of experience. One can move from these concepts in two ways: One can move from them in a logical way, but one can also and differently move from the bodily-sensed ..... which they bring."


This sort of theory, then, includes the logical dimensions of concepts, but also includes a deeper aspect that could be called process or experience. They are process concepts and experiential concepts. They have both of these relations.


Similarly, Gendlin says on page 114 of APM that he is indeed telling a story of natural history of how body process in plants 'becomes' animal life' which 'becomes' human symboling power. The purpose of this story is not only to develop a systematic theory, but to develop the kind of concept that can systematically incorporate lived experience or process. "In developing the symbol power, as it seems, from animal behavior and body-process, I am not trying to do a natural history. I think, quite in the opposite order, that those who study actual developments of this sort will be aided by the concepts developed here. Why? Because these concepts stem from out of what symboling is." What Gendlin means in this last statement, that his theory 'stems from out of what symboling is' is deeply important.


When most theories rely on units, Gendlin claims, they are relying on a very thin portion of what experience and language really are and do. Our unitized concepts are only one, and a very thin and impoverished form, of what language is in a deeper sense. In a deeper sense, language is something that emerges from and carries forward ongoing living processes. Language is part of the total activity of living bodies, comparable to an animal's growl or a bee's dance. Indeed, Gendlin begins his discussion of symbols by talking about 'body looks' and dances of animals.


We therefore need concepts about life and embodiment that allow us to appreciate the deep intertwining of language and living process. Gendlin thus explains on 114 "To think clearly, one needs concepts that share an internal structure, that develop together, so to speak. What each is, and what the others are, constitute a single structure so that one can grasp what each does in relation to the others." Concepts, in their embodied life, don't appear to us as singular units, cleanly separated, but more often as clusters and networks. When describing an experience or situation we may find an variety of words that reveal different facets. The real significance of concepts is in this network or mesh that they constitute in relation to one another. 


Engaging concepts in this way, as an embodied mesh, is truer to the nature of language. The real life of language is in our embodied felt sense of things. It is in a felt sense, a unique form of body process, that words cluster and present themselves to us. It is through a felt sense that we know we have the right word that expresses precisely just that thing that we wanted to say


It takes Gendlin about 25-30 pages before he begins speaking about his account or model in itself. Up until then he is just building concepts. It isn't until 114 pages in that we get a more explicit statement about how the book is proceeding. And it isn't until the final pages of the final chapter that we realize that felt sensing was involved the whole time. The end of the book, an account of the felt sense as where clusters or webs of concepts come from, was implicit at the beginning.


The opening line Gendlin says: "Body and environment are one, but of course only in certain respects." With this initial qualification, 'of course only in certain respects,' introduces us to the basic dialectical structure of the whole book. Concepts are built in precise ways by being dialectical, by saying 'well we could put it like that, but that is misleading because of XYZ... but if we put it like that then we see this aspect of it...' The whole text is an exercise in such dialectic. 


It is a felt sense that allows dialectic to proceed. Dialectic proceeds by detecting or sensing the fault in statements. This means that statements are being evaluated in some way outside of the statement. The felt sense is the place outside of language from which language both emerges and can be evaluated. 


Gendlin makes this explicit in the final chapter of APM (VIII). Gendlin notes that his concept of 'eveving' (everything interaffecting everything, in  chapter VI-A-e) was possible only from a felt sensing space, which isn't described until chapter VIII. The book, therefore, is using its own conclusions as presuppositions; the end is implicit in the beginning. "In IV-A-e, our concept there of 'eveving' already employed this kind of 'direction' [discussed immediately above] when we formulated how an evev becomes stable. Only now can this be said clearly. The concept of 'eveving' is from direct referent formation [felt sensing], from VIII." The text employs throughout the type of concept that can only be described in the final chapter.


Because it is only in the final chapter that Gendlin tells the developmental story of science and philosophy. Up until then he has to tell the story of plants, behavior, traditional human culture. Only then can he describe how traditional "VII" style concepts can be creatively redeployed for the purposes  of felt sensing and complex concept development. 


The permanent choice, of course, remains whether we use those concepts in a unitized "VII" way, or we return to felt sensing, try to move deeper into the process.


Put differently, do we allow our concepts to become frozen units, or do we return them to the more fluid space of experiencing.


This feels like an unruly post, I am grappling with a difficult text that is claiming to present radical or revolutionary concepts. I'm generally skeptical of such claims. But I am deeply impressed by this book.


It seems to me that the process of therapy contains a similar question about the end being present in the beginning. As therapy deepens someone has access to more, can do more felt sensing, can check in with themselves more. People become, in short, more skilled at process, less attached to structures or rigid forms. This corresponds fairly coherently onto the difference between logical or experiential concepts. 


As I've said to friends, and as someone who knew Gendlin confirmed for me, everything Gendlin ever wrote can be understood as an attempt to answer the question "How is psychotherapy possible?"

Friday, November 4, 2022

Community mental health, presence, and technical theories of life

Before I became a therapist I had brief stints at some different community mental health agencies. These were experiences that I sought out in order to get into grad school. I worked for about 6 weeks at a housing facility that also served as a women's shelter at night. Sometime like 30 units and 25 beds in the shelter. 


I was making minimum wage and left partly for financial reasons, but also partly because I was under-prepared for the intensity of what I encountered. I had never worked in mental health. I had never encountered individuals that had experienced intense trauma and long periods without housing. It was jarring. It was an experience of long stretches of quiet and boredom punctuated by intense moments of conflict and often threats of violence. My therapist at the time likened it to being like a firefighter, sitting around with nothing to do, until suddenly there is something urgent to do. From boredom to adrenaline and back, just like that.

 

One of the things that was so surprising to me was that my role had both very low and very high expectations. As a 'residential counselor' my main task was to be a presence. I had clients with particular needs that I interacted with regularly (dispensing medication, chatting, computer time), and there were clients who lived there that I barely ever encountered. I was mostly just hanging out. Me and one client would play scrabble together every day. I always felt like I was doing something wrong when I was playing scrabble. But I remember my boss telling me that I was there to have a positive affect on people, to be present and have relationships, and that if me and this person felt good about playing scrabble that totally fit within my job. These are the low expectations. There were also very high expectations in terms of deescalating very intense situations and interacting with individuals that were both experiencing psychosis and presenting hostilely. (I think of a client who was delusional about being a lawyer and would 'use the phone' for some time each day to work on her cases. There weren't any actual cases. At one point another (more lucid) client needed to use the phone and she was 'using' it. I think he took it from her, she was upset, and came to find me. I tried to negotiate for her to have some time to 'use' the phone. He said 'Man, you and I both know she's not actually talking to anyone!' I empathized, "I know... I know..." and negotiated some deal where both parties could be appeased. Wild stuff, real human situations).

 

 I didn't stay at this job long enough to really internalize all this about presence. I am still making sense of it.


I had a similar experience in my graduate school internship when I was working with intellectually and developmentally disabled folks. I mostly ran groups, but also did a fair amount of 1 on 1 work (especially with non-verbal people). Groups were chaotic at times. I would often have 12-20 people in a room with vastly different presentations. In the same room I'd have people living with: traumatic brain injuries; schizoaffective disorder along with learning disability; downs syndrome; autism; and a variety of vaguely defined intellectual disabilities (mild, moderate, severe, a la the DSM). 


I was doing my best to be therapeutic with these folks, but that meant hanging out, eating together, doing puzzles, playing games, making jokes, gesturing, playing. I requested to work with non-verbal individuals because I was working on getting deeper into my own body. I worked with one guy in particular that was often disruptive during groups. He was a big dude. His language was super limited. He was really eager to interact with others, but he didn't understand how big or strong he was. I noticed how disruptive he was in groups and I offered to take him out for walks during those times. We would walk together in a 3-5 block radius, encountering lots of things: mail carriers, overturned trash bins (which he insisted we clean up), dogs, people. I had a lot of fun with him and was surprised by the depth of our communication. No words, or very very few words. Lots of gesturing, lots of moving together, lots of pointing and groaning: "Ah! Aha! Mmmmm..." We were just walking. 


With other clients I would paint, listen to music, or just talk. In groups I would talk about emotional regulation and social skills, but I was really trying to get people to interact with one another and tell stories. This was also my approach during my groups during my forensic job. I ran a 'socialization and social skills' group. I really leaned into the socialization part, I just wanted to talk to people and get other people talking to one another. 


These experiences introduced me to the irreducible importance of presence. Presence is not flashy or fancy. It is hard to even see it. But sitting and playing scrabble with someone, walking, painting, listening to music, really being involved and connected while doing these things. The depth of it is strange. I'm trying to write about the deep experience of being close to people that I didn't really speak with. It is hard to write about, and now I'm merely gesturing at it. 


I want nothing more than to be close to actual people that I can touch and talk to. I see nothing so important in life as other people and my relationships with them. Tonight I was hanging out with a friend and I told her that the things I've published don't feel real compared to my living relationships. I had dinner with her and our other friend, celebrating a recent success of his. That feels real. These two people that I've come to know and love, having a nice meal together to celebrate a victory. We talked about how it was a relief and how it was hard. We've all been going through it this year. 


The meal is nice and costs money but relationships can't be bought. Even therapy, which is paid for, is contingent upon something other than the money to actually happen. 


I'm comparing this sense of presence to other ways of being that are more technical or control oriented. Presence, as I'm using it, is about allowing or welcoming aspects of an ongoing process. Other ways of approaching life are more managerial or defensive: we want to predict, plan, and control. Technical ways of thinking of course have their place in life. I still predict my routes when I travel and use a calendar to plan my days and weeks. 


Sometimes presence can be lost in this technical orientation. 


It was relatively easy for me to present during my internship because I was settling into the fact that I'd glimpsed in my first mental health stint: it is okay, no, essential to be present with people when working in any therapeutic capacity. I suppose I don't mean merely present, as in just a physical body plopped into some physical space. I mean real presence, one soul genuinely interested in and actively attuning to another. 


After my internship, after graduation, I got a job in forensic mental health. I was working with clients who were either exiting incarceration or avoiding incarceration. Part of their conditions of exit/diversion was court-mandated mental health treatment. As you might be able to guess, a lot of these people weren't very happy to be speaking with me. This made sense. As far as they know I'm just another manipulative person working the mysterious levers of the manipulative institutions they'd been navigating for god knows how long. They have no good reason to trust me. And, to be fair, as a matter of course I was plugged into a variety of monitoring and reporting systems. I was required, for example, to complete 'compliance reports' for probation officers of mental health court clinicians on a monthly basis. I was required to be a narc (unless I found ways to be creatively compliant rather than merely conformist).


I therefore had to spend a good deal of time and energy gaining people's trust, essentially undoing or working through the expectations put upon me by the role and situation. It was very hard to achieve presence with client's in that environment. The entire situation is so inherently unsafe, taking place in such manipulative institutions, how could you possibly be presence? It is worth saying explicitly: in my understanding, presence requires a sense of safety (in the deepest and broadest sense. Not just physical but emotional and personal safety).

 

The whole forensic environment was far more technical than my current therapeutic situation (a lovely group practice). I remember when I got to this practice I was shocked that people just wanted to talk to me. I had gotten so used to doing so much case management, so much reporting, so much bureaucratic and institutional work. Suddenly I have a single person in front of me that just wants to talk and for me to listen and interact


It is in private practice that I've been able to understand presence more fully. I've been writing a lot about, maybe I'll post some of it.


But I'll just note that there is some tension between presence and having a technical orientation towards life or its problems. My experience in forensic mental health leaves me comfortable claiming that institutions become most technical when it is punitive, manipulative, and aimed at control. I think I'm passing my experiences through the new perspective I have from reading Illich and going further.

Saturday, October 29, 2022

The beginning of part 3 of my current project

I am currently in the exploratory phase of a book length project. I have just over 125 pages of writing that is planned to be in three sections: language, politics, and reality (ontology, metaphysics, whatever). I have completed the sections on language and politics, in both cases drawing a contrast between the orderliness of concepts and the orderliness of experience. In the language section this takes the form of an exploration of therapy using the dyad of trellis talk and capture talk. In the politics section I explore the history modernity in  relation to the present state of psychological and psychiatric institutions, using the dyad of convivial and manipulative institutions. In this third section, which I've just begun and am posting here, I am applying a similar approach ("the two orders") to the problem of reality, science, and philosophy in general. I am trying to understand how reality can be such that we can experience language and institutions these ways. How is it possible that there is an animal that is so intimately interwoven with speech that its natural development is contingent upon how it speaks? How is it that this animal has learned to speak (and build and symbolize) in such a way that it 'captures' itself? How must we think about reality to make these things both intelligible and integral (as in maintaining their integrity, not reducing them to crude concepts). This writing is my beginning of my current attempt to work through these ontological questions.

 

3. Reality, The Two Orders, and the Shape of Science

 

I have used the word ‘real’ in different ways throughout my life. It seems like an indispensable word. I’ll have to start tracking how often clients use the word real, or how they use the word. My sense is that the question of “how I really feel” or “what’s really going on” is always at play. Most people have a sense that they could be misperceiving, making things up, or projecting. Sanity is somehow about being in touch with reality. An animal that is living a good life or is healthy is interacting with its environment in ways that evince their grasp of reality. Animals understand and have functional knowledge of their environments: that this can be eaten or that can be climbed, that this branch will support my weight, or this height will keep me safe. Humans and animals are inherently interactive with their environments and therefore must somehow encounter the reality of that environment, even if through different bodies. The fish’s experience of water, for example, must radically differ from the human experience of water. But I have a hard time believing that there is no overlap in our phenomenology (the feel of gliding through water, feeling a current push against you, some sense of temperature). There is something in the nature of the ocean that a fish and human both encounter but in different ways. We get different angles on the reality that is the sea. 


Yesterday, 10/27/22, I was reading Keir’s dissertation and it strikes me as relevant to this problem of reality. While discussing the problem of false opinion Keir gives the example of a fly being eaten by a venus fly trap. “When a fly lands on a venus fly trap and is snapped up by it, the venus fly trap has said false things to the fly—and the fly has believed them. The issue is perhaps this: we are at a distance from being. Being is neither fully present to us nor totally absent” (141). Keir goes on to name this as the problem of appearance (of course reality is generally contradistinct from appearance, illusion, fantasy, artifice, construction, or the like). “Appearance, for us, however, is never mere appearance. Mere appearance is a philosophical construct. Real appearance is always the appearance of something, even if we can’t say exactly of what. This ‘of’ is somehow the source of the problem. Because we are at a distance from being, we can never rest purely passive in our reception of it, but must always move out to meet it halfway” (141). As human beings we interact with reality (‘move out to meet it halfway’) in particularly complex ways (discussed above). Like plants we have a body that reconstitutes itself in relation to the environment. Like the other animals we have an experience of behavior space (and I agree with Gendlin when he says we interact with reality mainly with our hands and mouths). We are unique, however, in that we engage symbols as such, moving beyond animal gesturing towards the FLIP space where the intergestural context becomes a complex symbolic system, entrenched in buildings, institutions, and structures of all kinds. For us, therefore, the attempt to meetreality must navigate at least two layers of appearance. We must first confront the apparent reality of our political community, always distorted by doxa, and then somehow redeploy those same concepts in relation to the appearances of nature as we encounter it. Our movement from appearance to reality is double. First political, then natural.


Interaction is only possible in time. The pattern of action, response, action (implying-occurring, interaction) requires there to be something like time or process. It is clear that in the universe, at least for us, time only goes one way. There is only further change and development. There is no going back. I love The Midnight’s song WeMoveForward (their first song), “because we can’t go back.” And I love the lyrical refrain they offer on their new song “Heartbeat”: “We keep going 'cause we can't go back, no / We keep going 'cause we can't go back.” Things are not simply temporal but developmental, or Carl Rogers would say formative. Things seem to come together on their own, getting organized, adopting shapes and cycles. Indeed, I will be concerned with the literature on self-organizing systems or developmental systems theories or similar things I don’t know enough about. Living things are a particularly strange and unique form of self-organizing systems. We have this thing called experience, which is a unique form of developmental process that involves an ‘internal’ quality with aspects like learning, exploring, encountering, and so on. I suppose I’ll preliminarily rely on Nagel’s “What is it like?” definition of life or consciousness. It is a good enough starting place. It is in time that we use language and interact with reality. We interact with reality as living beings that have a ‘what it is like’ to be us. Thus any talk about reality is necessarily going to be talk about time or developmentality, and more specifically it will be talk both about and from the space of lived development (or growth).
 

I want to organize this section into two basic chunks. The second will be a general ontological or metaphysical statement about how I think about reality. Perhaps more importantly, I will be concerned with how to talk about how to talk about reality. Because the plain fact is that we can’t talk about reality in some simple sense (like drawing a map), as Keir notes. There is something about the way our languages work that talking about reality generates a gap of some kind. We can’t just ‘say how things are’. Talking is too obviously a part or aspect of reality that it could never stand sufficiently outside of reality to talk “about” “it” in some precise or specific way. Talking about reality is really more like talking with or from or out of reality. We have to speak as a part of the thing being discussed and not pretend to have some distance or objective space. I want to develop a way of speaking about reality that accounts for our being within reality, inseparable and emergent from its processes. Acknowledging our embeddedness, however, does not mean that we are incapable of developing meaningful images or accounts of reality in general. It just means that those images or accounts will be more self-consciously understood, we will not have naive ambitions of just saying how things are. Rather, we will follow Gendlin in developing/pursuing a concept that is capable of exhibiting and describing at the same time.
 

More specifically, I am interested in concepts that describe the processual nature of things while also participating in that process. The key to this is allowing concepts to be developmental in both how we read and write. As a reader, this means understanding that the meaning of words is not simply on the page, words don’t just “mean what they mean,” there is no perfect dictionary. To read a text (just like listening to a person) we have to track the way the words are used and what sorts of experiential responses the text generates in us. (What are you wanting these words to do?) Well written books are developmental and they must be read so that words and concepts can acquire complexity as the text develops. Similarly, as a writer, I want to use concepts developmentally, track and expand their meaning. Indeed, this is what I’ve tried to do throughout this text, asking readers to ‘roll up’ or ‘carry forward’ the meaning of one term into another. I have tried to exhibit complex mutations of concepts where esotericism can come to overlap with irony and both can be shown to overlap with love. And then to show how these concepts surrounding language can be folded into an analysis of institutions. Finally I am putting those same concepts to work in the domain of ontology or reality.
 

In writing, reading, or listening this way I am self-consciously engaging with the two orders: the order of language and the order of experience. Words only ever have meaning in relation to ongoing experiencing, which is implicitly intricate in ways that words can never convey. In the first section I showed that trellis talk concerns the relationship between the two orders; trellis talk leaves space for a person to be in process, and therefore invites their intricate becoming. The symbols are intended to stimulate this more intricate experiential process. In trellis talk the concern is not with the symbols in their logical relations or implying, but rather the symbols as they enable experiential development. It isn’t about the symbols, in a certain sense. In my writing on politics I showed that modern institutions are particularly adept at capturing people, squashing their capacity for intricate relating or selfhood. Now I want to show how this capacity for intricate experience has implications for science, philosophy, and intellectual or personal inquiry of any kind. This is not just a problem of language or politics, it is a problem of reality. How is it that there are multiple forms of order that are distinct but also emergent and interactive? More specifically, emphasizing the subservience of language to the intricate order will highlight the significance of response in any form of inquiry (like eliciting in therapy or conviviality in institutions). Approached with the idea of language as capable of generating responses (from the intricate order) philosophy would need to become more dialectical, science would need to change its attitude towards experimentation (like Kimmerer says), and persons in general would be capable of deep listening and know how to further conversations in growthful ways.
 

Becoming aware of the two orders, self-consciously thinking, writing, and living in relation to them could be described as becoming more first-personal. To be first-personal is to recognize the primacy of experience not just in theory but in practice; it is to feel oneself living out of one’s body, with all its capacity for sensing into the complexities of our situations. I told a client recently that I think of therapy as a process of becoming first-personal. As we move deeper into our bodies there is more familiarity with native desire, easier for us to make decisions about difficult things, a greater trust in ourselves. This being-first-personal is significant also in philosophizing and science. Gendlin argues in “What First and Third Person Processes Really Are” that scientists need to begin to talk explicitly about how they are working with their ‘implicit understanding’ or felt sense of things. Gendlin is right to point out that we generally only hear about how a concept is better, not where it comes from. Inviting scientists or philosophers to be more-first personal (to engage in and discuss direct reference to experiencing in their process of concept formation) may be difficult because these are professions that operate in institutional spaces. Institutional spaces, as observed, are generally highly third-personal spaces: they maximize efficiency and reduce people to roles by zooming out and generalizing. They take a third-person point of view and in doing so train people in the self-conditioning of their first-person experience, subjecting it to an external gaze.
 

Thus these are questions I am asking and themes I want to track. Given what has been said about language and our political institutions, what does it mean to speak meaningfully about reality? Speaking about reality means speaking about time, development, or process. How does language, which is so often structure bound, lend itself to the task of discussing or describing processes? How does our analysis of trellis talk apply not only to therapeutic contexts, but also to philosophical and scientific processes? How does the goal of discussing reality interact with the distinction between first- and third-person science?  My hunch, or basic hypothesis, is that the biggest difficulty to surmount is that we are attempting to describe a whole of which we are a part with partial access to this whole (to paraphrase Strauss and invoke Nagel). The world changes and we change with it, and therefore it can never be described finally (I think of the Judge in McCarthy’s Blood Meridian, burning natural things after documenting them so he has perfect knowledge of them. They can not change, for then he would no longer know them. Thus he must destroy them to preserve the perfection of his knowledge). Third-person science is a sort of theory that destroys us or leaves us out altogether. Deacon’s Incomplete Nature will be my example of this. It pretends to speak from a perspective in which seemingly no observer exists and then tries to reconstruct the observer from this nowhere perspective. The gap between the descriptions and reality is palpable. I was deeply disappointed when I reached the end of Deacon’s book and it took me some time to understand exactly why: he never makes the turn to first-person perspective as such,  only  ever talking about it from a third-person perspective. First-person science, by contrast, can significantly close this gap between the description of the world and experience. Gendlin’s A Process Model will be my example. I believe Gendlin’s theory meets Nagel’s requirement of being able to ‘turn on itself’ and explain the existence of the theory and the theorizer. Gendlin gives a description of natural, emergent processes that ultimately explain the capacity for symbol making and ultimately theorizing. When you arrive at the end of the text you realize that the text itself is an example of what it is describing, the theory is capable of exhibiting and accounting for its own existence. The text itself is responsive and developmental, displaying the dialectic of symbol and experiencing. Gendlin invites you into his own stream of experiencing that allowed him to construct his model. Ultimately the process model will be the larger model, capable of nesting and moderating the unit model. The ultimate form of science that Gendlin advocates for is a multi-directional dialectic between the unit model, the explication model, and ongoing direct reference to the process of experiencing from which both models emerged. But we must learn this way of using concepts and this way of thinking of ourselves in a deeply first-personal way. The experience has genuinely changed me.
 

In doing this I am trying to suss out the nature of scientific and philosophical inquiry in general. This also necessarily means understanding the nature of language. Such big, general questions, however, always need particular subject matters as fodder and evidence. Therefore in the first section I will be pursuing an account of scientific psychology as a way of clarifying science, philosophy, and language in general.
 

3.1 The Meaning of General Psychology: Psyche, Development, Emergence


Pursuing the question, “What is psychology?” is important to me for both practical and theoretical purposes. Practically my concerns are varied but pertain to both my personal and professional life. I’m a psychotherapist and I’m deeply engaged with what psychology in America is right now. I also am someone who has benefitted very deeply from good psychotherapy and am invested in continuing to heal and grow as a person. Reading, writing, and understanding psychology is important for all of this. And then theoretically I am also interested for both practical and then more strictly theoretical reasons. I think theory is practical. I am very persuaded by a strong version of the word ‘phenomenology’ in which it points to the fact that, as humans, we can’t “see” things with depth and clarity unless we are able to conceptualize them or articulate them in some way. Theory is essential in outlining complex features of reality that can then be seen without the concept. Theoretical concepts, when repeatedly applied to actual observation, will begin to function implicitly in our quiet looking and listening. I also just think theorizing is fun and have a strictly theoretical interest in these theoretical questions! So there is the practical side of theory and the theoretical side of theory.
 

Psychology is poorly theorized. The field is a hodge podge of methodologies, definitions, orientations, purposes, and priorities (and funding sources). I am not aware of many American authors pursuing accounts of “general psychology” that try to give some unity to the field as a whole. The situation feels more like what Cabanas & Illouz describe in Manufacturing Happy Citizens, to paraphrase, ‘the field has to reinvent itself every 10-20 years to continually try and reestablish its relevance and therefore funding.’ The prestige of psychology, in my opinion, is not very well deserved, as much of the field consists of empty verbal platitudes paraded as knowledge. This tone and sort of wanton claim won’t make the book version, ha. I know there are a lot of psychologists I’m unaware of who have probably tried things like this.
 

A recent account of general psychology that I admire is Niels Engelsted’s Catching up With Aristotle: A Journey in the Quest for General Psychology. Engelsted views the field somewhat as I described above, as a disparate and largely incompatible smattering of methodologies and theories. Engelsted claims that psychology fundamentally ask about the meaning of the word psyche, indeed the central term of the discipline. Engelsted claims we should follow Aristotle and Alexi Leontiev in claiming that the problem of psyche (or soul, psuche, for Aristotle) essentially concerns the difference between the living and non-living. For Aristotle this would be things that have their principle of motion inside of them, as opposed to outside of them. If we have a stone in our hand and we throw it at a tree it will simply hit the tree. If we have a healthy bird in our hand, however, and we toss it toward a tree it will likely not hit the tree, instead it will fly in whatever direction it feels. The bird, unlike the stone, has some source of motion within itself. Soul or psyche is a placeholder for whatever this thing is that allows the bird to move (or the plant to grow or us to live as we do). For Leontiev the problem of psyche would be answered similarly in terms of the origins of sensation. Leontiev was heavily interested in the meaning  of the sensate body. I think of plants as having senate bodies, that they have some sort of simple interactive life with reality (I recall Gendlin saying “plants are interacting with reality all the time”). Engelsted thus claims that psychology must essentially be a science of the developing complexity of sensate bodies. He proposes a four part scheme beginning with sentience (largely in the present) and moving through intentionality (a sense of the future), mind (a view of the past), and human consciousness (capable of ‘the outside view’).